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tales from the crypt
turns out the bighouse in germany has really nice mattresses. of the best i’ve ever tried.

i was just standing in front of this sign, admiring its wordly-non-meaningfulness, when out the bushes jump three bear teams and slam me down.

they took me in and put me in a cage and after a couple of minutes, a strange german doctor [who looks a bit more like a ghost with the 50s bag he was carrying around] was slothing himself next to my bars and asked me if i wanted blood. it sounded a bit sketchy so i said no.

i went to my room where i met 3 snoring gentlemen, they made sure to snore at different times as if to make it harder to fall asleep.
one of them, the scariest of the bunch, was missing a finger, and kept waving his hand above his head while snoring.


finally, i slept.
i had great dreams; of a bear-sized dog who kept moving my hair away from my face, claiming “it looks better this way”,
of a girl who stole my pancake-hamburger and then fell in love with me,
of non snoring inmates.

when i woke my eyes were bleeding and one of my socks were missing. i told the guards but they didnt care.

i told them i was a jew and they proceeded to throw the keys on the ground and run away.


upload shhhhh